What’s up Dawg? Have you had a ruff day at work? Luckily, the moment you entered the gate, Fido was there dancing around, and yelping at ear-splitting decibels…imagine, your own living, breathing subwoofer!
Let’s unleash some funny puns, but be warned, based on some insider in-fur-mation, they are so punny, that you mutt find yourself rolling over on the ground, howling with tears…they are so humerus!
Paw-fectly Funny Dog Puns
Whelp, we guess we might as well just throw you a bone, by listing some of our fa-fur-ite, pawsh furry jokes and dog puns.
There are a few great names to christen a new pupper. Some that even refer back to dog jokes. Our 10 favorite names are:
- Lick Jagger
- James Earl Bones
- Ron Fleasly
- Sarah Jessica Barker
- Muttley Crew
- Olivia Chewton-John
- Vera Fang
- Jude Paw
There are quite a few musicians that your dog might enjoy listening to, such as:
- Snarls Barkley
- Jon Dog Boney
- Boney M
- Fleaba McEntyre
Some well-known actors and actresses that grace Doggywood, that have previously been winners of Dogscars, include:
- Bark Whalberg
- Angela Basset Hound
- Drooly Andrews
- Brad Pitbull
- Jake Gyllenpaw
Have you heard about the doggo from the wood that won the lottery last night? He is now a pun dog millionaire!
What is Lassie’s favorite meal to chow? Wait for it… Collie-flower and rice!
She said that the pup-arazzi was hounding her! And my response was… bitch paw-leeze!
Why did the mongrel start a dogfight? He had a bone to pick with the neighborhood bully!
Which dog breed do vampires have? Bloodhounds!
Which job title is best suited to dogs? A roofing constructor!
What did the chicken, spaniel, and maltese cross-breed say every morning? Cockerpoodledoo!
What do you call a dog that does excavation in the garden? A Barkeologist!
Heard about the doggo fur hire for kiddies’ parties? He is a Labracadabrador!
What is the fa-fur-ite shoe brand of Kim Kardaschund? Jimmy Chews!
What is the current special at the pet store? Buy 2, get the cheapest for flea!
Why did the Alsatian go to the bank? He had to de-paw-sit some money into his account.
Who is the famous doggy boy band that sings Hotel Collie-fornia? The Beagles!
What is a dog’s first love called? Puppy love!
What did the one dog say to his friend, when they saw a chubby female dog in the street? I like big mutts and I cannot lie!
What food does a dog enjoy that lives in India? Mutt-on Curry!
When you leave your girlfriend at home because the sign outside the mall says: “No dogs allowed”
What did the dog say to its owner? Stop yanking my chain!
You can’t go outside because it’s raining cats and dogs!
Why did the Yorkshire Terrier go to the dogtor? Her voice was a bit husky!
The best thera-pee is re-tail thera-pee!
What do you pack your dog’s food in? A doggie bag!
Heard about the dog that was lying? He told too many tall tails!
What is a dog’s fa-fur-ite drink during Howl–a-ween? Pugkin Spice Latte’s.
What did Lady say to The Tramp? I am mutts about chew!
What fuel does a doggie car run on? Pet-rol!
Why did the Cocker Spaniel have to sit in the shade? It was a hot dog!
What do you call the dog president’s wife? The fur-st lady!
What did the vet say to the dog owner? She is one sick puppy!
50 best Dog Puns For The “Ultimutt” Dog Lover
Paw-fectly Funny Dog Puns:
- This pup is furrocious
- I like big mutts and I cannot lie
- Dog gone it
- Ruff day
- Watch out for the puppa-razzi
- It wasn’t a professional picture just a labra-doodle
- The dogs favorite movie was Jurassic Bark
- Don’t be clawstraphobic
- A teacup yorkies least favorite sport- trach and field
- Sorry to bug you. I just saw a dog with fleas, and you mite not want to miss it
- Hot summer days call for pup sicles
- Dogs park their cars in the barking lot
- Woofles for breakfast
- Be pawsitive
- Dogs love shopping at the flea market
- I didn’t choose the pug life, the pug life chose me
- Never turn down great oppPawtunities
- People who don’t like dogs beagle my mind
- Love for dogs is a furever kind of thing
- Summer is perfect for a bark bq
- Great lab results from the physical
- Why buy when you can leash
- The dog gets paid through direct depawsite
- They served chili dogs at the bark bq
- Tail me about it
- He didn’t gain the covid 19 but he is a bit husky
- Quit hounding me
- Bad call by the ruffaree
- We had to go to the dogtor
- A dogs favorite fall drink is a pugkin spiced latte
- He had a birthday pawday
- A dog‘s favorite pizza is puporoni
- When the dog peed on the rug his owner told him “Urine trouble”
- It rained so hard it created thousands of poodles
- The dog studied barkeology
- In order to join the dog had to pay a flea
- After a long busy day of tail chasing the dog paws itself a drink
- Stop repeating yourself it’s repugnant
- Yours drooly
- I woof you
- I really dig dog puns
- Don’t terrier yourself up over it
- The pup wasn’t devastated just melon collie
- You’ll always have akita my heart
- You can never prank call with collar ID
- The best city dog is the New Yorkie
- In the library you must keep hush puppy
- It wasn’t a yacht just a pug boat
- A dogs favorite sandwich is always made on pure bread
- The collie barked back, showing that he herd you loud and clear
A Paw-some Bedtime Story
What better way to spoil your fur baby, than to read them our bedtime story:
One day there was a tyke named Will Sniff. He stayed in the state of Collie-fornia, and decided to go on a dog-gone adventure for the day. As he set off, he gave his dog-ma a slobbery lick and promised to be back home before zero bark thirty.
As he merrily jogged along the street, he met his friend Spaniel Craig along the way. He greeted him with a loud, Hey Corgeous! They were very excited to see each other and decided to go in search of their favorite treat, Pee-nut Pupper pup-cakes.
They had barely started out before they stumbled across the neighborhood bully, 50 Scent. He and his pack of cur cronies, L.L Drool J, and Post Mabone were terrorizing poor Sinead O’Collar, for her meaty flavored pup-sicle.
As they cowered in fear of being spotted and hoping to remain in corg-nito, Will Sniff, remembered that Dog-ma said he always needed to be paw-lite, no matter how hard it might be. They had to rescue Sinead O’Collar, no matter how high the steaks were. Will Sniff, being the brave mother-pupper that he is, decided to remain paw-sitive, and approached the sit-uation carefully.
He tapped 50 Scent on the collarbone, and said, “Pardon me fur the inter-ruff-tion, but what the pug are you doing? Growling, they all spun around and 50 Scent said to Will Sniff and Spaniel Craig, “Howl ya doin’?”
Will Sniff, was convinced that 50 Scent was going to whippet out and give him a tongue lashing in the dog park, in full view of every dog around. Never one to be the underdog, Will Sniff approached 50 Scent closer, “Why are you always being a terrier-ist?” he asked.
“You are barking up the wrong pedigree, if you think I am letting this go, you can pug-get about it,” 50 Scent said. “Please furgive me 50 Scent, but are you being fur-real?” 50 Scent started to get angry and bared his teeth like a smiling hyena, not only was he ready to bite, but also smile whilst doing it at the same time. “Pit happens, whatcha going to do about it? I am the most pup-ular dog in the park and totally fur-bulous, so I can do what I want” 50 Scent said.
Will Sniff started to really get angry at 50 Scent and his pack of mongrels. “You are so a-paw-ling” he howled in frustration. “You are making a mastiff missed steak, punk!” 50 Scent barked in anger.
Before the situation escalated further, they herd the sound of the animal control van of Paw-ficcer Eastwoof, and everyone flea-d the scene. Running into the safety of the Paw-tique store, Sinead O’Collar a-pooched our hero, and said: “I am so fur-tunate that you were ahound today”. He responded by saying “Don’t stop retrieving, hold on to that feline” as he walked away.
Will Sniff got home in time fur pupper, and gave Dog-ma a pound by pound account of the day’s events. She picked him up and puggled him close, whilst she whispered in his ear…”I pugging love you so much, you have the corg-key to my heart!”
Dog–ma rewarded Will Sniff, by making pup-corn, and puggling with him on the couch, whilst watching his favorite film, Jurassic Bark and got shiz-faced. They lived long and paws-per.
As far-fetched as this story sounds, it’s true, I shih tzu not!
The final say
Probably one of the most iconic quotes that include dogs has to be “Zeus, Apollo…FETCH!” Don’t you think a round of appaws is in order?